Remembering The Day

Most of us who were alive at the time of JFK's assassination remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news. We often clearly remember events from the past when they are associated with a personal life changing event. Today I am remembering the day my world changed, September 11, 2001.

I had just gotten out of the shower and sat down in front of the television in my bedroom to put on my makeup. The broadcasters were showing footage of a plane which had flown into one of the World Trade Center towers. The billowing smoke mingled with the faces of concern, fear and dismay. It is amazing that as the second plane hit the second tower...in a split second...my world seemed to change. Suddenly, in that one moment, the events of the morning went from a terrible, tragic accident to an intentional attack. My mind shifted into a shocked haze. The images and information of the unfolding events poured out of televisions and radios across the nation like water over Niagara Falls.

I was watching those images replay this morning as I was performing the same tasks of preparing to go to work. It was unsettling to remember, yet I know it is important that I do remember. The emotions of eight years came tumbling back. This time there was no haze, but there was a resentment, anger, indignation over what had occurred. I was thinking about the senseless loss, the pain, the anguish, the fear, the grief...and then He said, "You need to forgive them." Boy, I wasn't expecting that one.

When I am offended by someone, when my feelings get hurt, when I am treated badly, usually it doesn't take me very long to forgive the one who inflicted the pain. I remember that Jesus forgave me of my sins, so I have no right to harbor unforgiveness against anyone. Some how I guess I felt with this national tragedy that I had a right to not forgive, to not release it...to hang on to bitterness and anger. I am not talking about forgetting what took place. I am talking about forgiving them, even if they do not want or ask for forgiveness. I need to forgive because Jesus forgave me of every thing that I have done, thought, and said that "fell short" of His glory. We still need to be willing to fight to protect our rights as a nation, but to do it out of protection for our country and innocent people as opposed to fighting to exact revenge because we hate them.

I don't think the Lord is asking me to forget all about what happened. I need to honor the memory of those who were lost in those planes, in the buildings...those that served and lost their lives struggling to save others. The Lord is not asking me to be foolish and purposefully to invite danger in, simply because I have chosen to forgive. On the contrary, scripture admonishes us to be "wise as serpents and innocent as doves." He is not asking me to trust those who committed these terrible acts. As a matter of fact, there is no place in scripture where we are told to trust anyone but God. So, I don't have to trust those who did this, I don't have to behave foolishly and enter into unsafe situations, but I am called to forgive them.

Forgiveness frees us from being tied to those we are harboring unforgiveness toward. Unforgiveness keeps a link between us and the other party. It is as if we carry that person around piggyback style until we forgive them. They weigh us down. The emotions of unforgiveness are exhausting and punish the one who is choosing to not forgive as opposed to punishing the person that needs to be forgiven. I, for one, do not want to carry around more emotional baggage and heaviness. I want to live "lightly", without the burdens of unforgiveness or resentment dragging me down. Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves.

So, on this anniversary of 9/11...the anniversary of the day that something terrible happened, I am choosing to forgive those who committed these horrendous acts. I will never forget what happened, but I relinquish any right that I might have to punish them in return. Instead, I turn them over to the Lord. I repent of my lack of forgiveness. Yes, I fully support and am extremely grateful for our troops who selflessly fight to protect us, but I leave it up to the Lord to dole out any retribution or punishment. Vengeance belongs to God.

I pray that next year when the same images flood over my television screen, that I will notice a heart change. Sure there will be sadness over the loss and the senselessness of it all, but I pray there will also be a deep groaning in my soul because of the "lost-ness", if that is even a word, of those who were so lost in their way that they endeavored to do such evil. They are so very lost. Lord, please replace the bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart with your compassion and forgiveness. Jesus died to save them, just as He died to save me. He loves them as much as He loves me. I need to remember that.